A PENSIONER who considered suicide as she struggled to cope with caring for her husband with dementia has hailed a befriending service for saving her life.

Valerie Hadley, 76, was left trying to provide round-the-clock care for her husband Terry, 84, but the struggle left her feeling like she wanted to take her own life.

Mrs Hadley said: “I could be at the end of my tether and sobbing my heart out, but Terry wouldn’t even come and put a hand on my shoulder, he’d just carry on with what he was doing.

“Of course, that’s not him at all, it’s just his dementia, but I was fretting constantly about what I could do next to help him.

“About 18 months ago I was in a bad place. I felt so alone and I think if I’d had a gun I would have shot myself.

“I was absolutely suicidal and I just couldn’t cope.”

While former chef Terry remains lucid at times and even goes shopping, he can’t cope with simple day-to-day issues because of his memory loss.

“I find myself having to deliberately steer him away from worrying about things or asking me the same question again and again.”

Valerie, who lives in Halstead, was put in touch with Maldon-based Action For Family Carers and hers and Terry’s lives began to change for the better.

She was able to send Terry to day centres four days a week allowing Valerie to do her housework and have some time to herself.

She now gets a call from a befriending volunteer once a fortnight and receives counselling to help her talk about her feelings.

Mrs Hadley has also received computer and iPad training so she can stay in touch with the outside world.

“The previous help I had didn’t do anything for me, it was all focused on Terry,” she added.

“But now I’ve got a life outside. The people at AFFC are lovely and will do anything to try to help you better your life.

“It can really lift your spirits knowing somebody cares. They really have been a God-send.”

Action for Family Carers has been handed a £9,230 grant from Essex County Council to continue to provide befriending services to people in Mid Essex.